Fact: Professional video game reviewers get less love than anybody else


Recent studies show that professional video game reviewers get the least amount of affection in all of society.  In fact, reportedly 3 out of 4 gorgeous women would rather date a deflated inner tube than any professional video game reviewer from Gamespot, IGN and the like.  Simply put, these guys are losers and have no life, which is why they have the patience to endure dozens of hours of trial and error playing mediocre games like Nioh or Dark Souls.  Not only do they have more time than anyone else, they also believe that claiming to love Soulsborne games makes them spectacularly more attractive (to about .01 on the scale of 1 to 10).  This clearly explains the phenomenon of once respectable websites giving the highest praises to notoriously difficult games.  In doing so, they are convinced that gorgeous women would wanna snuggle them.  These desperate “souls” drool all over Nioh hoping to get the attention of females not of the inflatable variety.  These embarrassingly desperate measures by people who can’t get any, threaten the entire video game industry as more and more game developers succumb to the pressure and start making unfairly difficult games that take very little skill to design and develop (ie. make every boss near indestructible and always capable of one-hit kills).  This just needs to stop.


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